A ‘Killer Clown’ face off: what would you do?

You’re walking home alone along poorly lit streets. Across the road you can make out a figure in the shadows but you’re not sure who or what it might be. Feeling slightly uneasy, you walk faster.

What if that figure started following you from across the street? Add a clown costume, a weapon, and a painted grimace and it’s enough to induce a heart attack.

Even worse, what if a clown jumped out in front of you from behind a street corner. Or ran after you screaming with the knife they were brandishing, fake or otherwise, held above their head.

What would you do? Run? Scream?

Depending on what the clown was wielding changes how quick I would run, and how loud I would scream, but in all honesty I’d just want to get away. I suspect I’d call the police, let them know there’s a ‘killer clown’ on the loose and scaring the shit out of people. But past that, I’m not sure what else I would be able to do.   

Not that I’m afraid to confess that in contemplating the ‘killer clown’ phase, I have imagined a superhero, vigilante version of myself bravely chasing away nightmare clowns, or suddenly realising my full self-defence potential, despite my severe lack of experience.

But for some this isn’t a far off vision. There has been theinfamous ‘Batman’ in Cumbria who has been defending and protecting the local schoolchildren, much to their relief.

In Bristol we even have our own, home-grown vigilante group:the Clown Hunters. This team of good Samaritans are patrolling the streets of Bristol, performing citizen arrests on stray clowns and alerting the police. It is worth noting that the group insist on not approaching clowns with weapons and instead just call the police, before anyone gets carried away.

If it weren’t for the potential harm these clowns could do, the situation would be laughable. There are teenagers with a new hobby of scaring people in clown instead of playing Grand Theft Auto in their rooms. With the addition of costumed vigilantes the situation just gets more astonishing. In my relatively short life, I have never come across quite so bizarre a craze, or actually quite such an unbelievable year. The world seems to be turning upside down.

From one unbelievable news story to the next, the ‘Killer Clown’ craze almost perfectly sums up 2016 so far. First up in January were the deaths of legends Sir Terry Wogan, Alan Rickman and David Bowie, which left the nation in a state of shock only to be deepened as other well-loved celebrities passed, including Victoria Wood, Ronnie Corbett and Robin Williams. At the same time people were getting their heads around tragedies, such as the Orlando shootings and terrorist attacks on the continent and in the Middle East. On top of all that, the political scene appeared to flip on its head too. Suddenly Trump was the Republican nominee, the UK had voted to leave the EU and Boris Johnson had been appointed the position of Foreign Secretary.

Despite the bad news so far in 2016, and the increase in racism and homophobia across the Western world, we can always hope that these unbelievable events soon become a thing of the past. You never know, we could be sitting here in a peaceful, accepting and tolerant society in 2017 thinking, ‘Thank God that all worked out fine’.

Published in online in the Epigram comment section 20/11/2016

Walking away won’t change the NUS, but working together will

“We should be defending our education from marketisation - together. “(Becky Howe, quoted in the Independent)

The Oxford University Student Union president summed it up – you can’t be a part of change you feel passionate about, if you leave the organisation that makes that change possible. There’s more to consider in a 94-year-old union than it’s current president. With 7 million students behind it, there’s huge potential for change both within and outside the organisation.

Although the election of Malia Bouattia in April was the last straw for many, with universities across the country calling for referendums, those who have voted so far predominately come down on the side to stay, including Oxbridge and our neighbours Bath and Exeter. And with good reason too.

No one can ignore the power of a national union, especially given the NUS’ affiliation with over 500 universities and sixth forms. No individual SU could carry the same clout as an organisation of that size, even Bristol.  With Tory cuts and threats to raise fees further, we need to keep united and fight for the debt-free education we believe in. The NUS helps us do this, from the successful 1992 council tax exemption for students campaign to the national demonstration planned for November this year. 

“The Conservative’s will never listen!” I hear you cry. Fear not, they already have. In 2015, NUS successfully secured post-graduate tuition loans for over-30s through their #capsoff campaign.  If that doesn’t fill you with just a glimmer of hope in these dark, grant-less, debt-filled days, I don’t know what will.

As fantastic as many parts of the NUS are, recent controversies need to be addressed, particularly the anti-Semitism debate. There is outrage surrounding Bouattia’s claim in 2011 that Birmingham was a ‘Zionistoutpost’, leading to accusations of anti-Semitism. I don’t agree with and nor do I condone Bouattia’s conduct, but I do believe the union is not just who leads them. The sheer size of the NUS and the frequently changing face from annual presidential elections, leads me to think leaving over Bouattia is rash.  

However, this does lead to questions about anti-Semitism in the organisation as a whole. Recently, the motion at the national conference to commemorate Holocaust MemorialDay was met with resistance from some in the union, leading to a wave of criticism from the Jewish community and politicians. The Memorial Day is an incredibly important part of respecting the victims and educating many about the Holocaust and other genocides. Changing the direction of the NUS to better accept and respect events such as these can only happen if those inside the union act. If we leave now, we have no power over the course of such a big organisation with such a potential to be a force for good.

Claims of lack of representation and democracy in the NUS are weak. If you don’t like the direction of the union, change it. It’s there for you, so exercise your right as a member. And as for the democratic system of the NUS, the planned reform for 2017 shows constant work for improvement. Hope is not lost, change can still happen.

This referendum on affiliation with the NUS has brought up some uncomfortable and worrying questions, but it does not mean we should give up on a union that has the potential to do so much more good for students than it already has. The problems can’t be denied, but they also can’t be ignored. They need to be addressed, changes need to be made and we need to move forward together. But we can’t do that from outside the NUS.

Published originally in the Epigram student newspaper